A knock at the door got me up from an afternoon of doing nothing but stare at the ceiling. A man that i used to know was standing behind it as i opened it and stared some more.
Dame: Hello.
Yoshi: Hi... I don't know where else to go.
I stared at him for a few more minutes. His eyes were watery and his lips were trembling.
Dame: I'm sorry, yes come in.
I saw him scan my room. It was small and pathetic. The corners made everything look smaller than it already is. The butter-colored walls draw nothing in his eyes and that was exactly what was on the walls and the furniture and the bed and the windows, NOTHING.
Yoshi: I like what you've done with the place... it's so...
Dame: Empty???
He was still sarcastic even when his eyes were all red and teary. I saw a grin appeared on his boyish little face. He looked at me with a smile but with tears pouring from his eyes.
Yoshi: You always do that.
Dame: What?
Yoshi: You make me laugh and cry at the same time.
Dame: What's the matter.
Yoshi: You are.
Dame: What?
Yoshi: Come home damey...
It was almost 2 years since i last saw those sincere eyes. He asked me to live with him if I wanted him to stay in Manila. He told me that it is too much of a risk to take a pass on that big job offer just to be with me and he is only willing to do it if he was really going to be with me. Those eyes were the same eyes that asked me to live with him 2 years ago and now how I wished I didn't.
Dame: You know that that would not solve anything.
Yoshi: I haven't asked you this before you left... is this what you really want?
Dame: Yes!
Yoshi: Then why haven't you told anybody?
Dame: Because you haven't told anybody...
Yoshi: Because I've always hoped that you would come back, because i know you would
He saw right though me. He saw right through my heart. I tried not to look back when i got my last pair of shoes from his condo unit, but he knew that my heart was not like that. He knew me very well, but i do not know him. For 3 years that we've been together i tried to figure out each word, each expression, each wink, each grin, each sigh, but i can't see through him.
Dame: Can't you see that I'm trying? I'm trying really hard! There are a million reasons to go back to the way we were. There are a million reasons to to hold on to what we have, but there is one reason that keeps me from coming home Yoshi.
I promised myself not to cry in front of him again. But he always makes me cry. He picks me up from a mess, he points out where i went wrong and he makes me feel helpless. Not now, not from this decision.
Dame: You always make me cry.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Vacation!!!! AT LAST!!!
once again i have proven to myself and to rest of my overly thrifty "bench/penshoppe" friends that spending a little bit more in apparel could really change your already miserable life... i haven't got the chance to prove this before because all the proof i need is that 100 million dollar feeling whenever i wear my donna karan knitted jacket... but finally... after spending almost a years savings for a vintage dolce and gabbana 3-button suit, which costs me almost $700 (and i got this on a good bargain...) and a $50 banana republic diagonal black and white stripped slim tie and another $500 for a pair of black ferragamo leather shoes... the heavens finally noticed that they might consider people with good taste in clothes as one of the major factors to get sure seats up there...
it was last monday when this all happened... i woke up around 9am in the morning and got ready for the make or break moment that would shape the rest of my vacation plans for december... once again here's a flashback...
last may my lovely girl friend got the thing we all have been waiting for... her fiancee visa to be approved... and in a blink of an eye, without hesitation nor any teary goodbyes i just realized that she jumped on the first plane going to las vegas and left everybody here in the philippines to rot!
and so she got civilly married there and because the pinoy blood still holds her already bisaya accent... everybody still wanted to have another wedding ceremony together with all the white curtains they could muster and the longest trail they could put together and all the white petals they can cover the floor with... and the date was set... december 27... AND I AM GOING TO SING!!!
well, that was the original plan until we realized that my attendance was enough destruction for the ceremony already... so we just stick to the lesser evil (bwahahahaha...)
and then i forgot that my US Visa was already expired... but how can i miss this life threatening event? the timing is just right... got 3weeks vacation leave available... the semester for my MBA is about to end... i have free tickets to the states and I HAVE FREE TICKETS TO THE STATES!!! who am i to stop myself from another luxurious trip half-way around the world... besides it's already been a year since i really got out of the philippines or anywhere within it's vicinity (i mean... south east asia... you get the drift?)
so now we go back to the early part of the blog... i got up one monday morning and fixed myself to look as expensive as the clothes i'm wearing... (IT WAS HARD!!!) i spent all my life trying not to eat too much... thankfully it paid off... i haven't been over 150 pounds and the only flab that appeared in my body was that ounce of fat around my love-handle... but i maintained my lean figure.... problem now is... i look too thin... it's exceptionally great when the suit fitted like a runway model... but also exceptionally malnourished (bwahahahah!!!!)
my friend picked me up and dropped me off to the US Embassy... he said it was a form of support for all my efforts... but of course he's expecting me to bring him that D&G watch he's been eying on ebay when i get back from the states... (oh well... meet my friends...)
The line outside the embassy was long and exhausting... imagine wearing my coat and tie under the heat of the manila sun (talk about overdressed!) and what made matters worse is that i'm pretty sure i was the only one there who thought it best to wear something formal... NOT... but i kept my composure and just imagined everybody wearing the same thermal suit that i'm wearing...
it was'nt that long when somebody tapped my shoulder and introduced herself... she was one of the applicant's... she was a dentist and by the looks of her she's quite a good one... we made small talk and i learned that she was intending to attend a confrence in san francisco... i didn't realize that it's going to be one of the countless petty stories i will hear for the rest of my stay in that irritating line... there was an old lady who has a sister in the states who was dying, another was attending a wedding and a funeral right after, another wanted to take acting classes in the states... it just goes on and on... and then i reflected on my reason... it was simple, short and unconvincing... VACATION!!!!
right after graduation, i was one of the stupid people who thought that working immediately was the sane thing to do... i didn't realize that you have the rest of your life to work and only have a year of spending your 20th year here on earth without worry and burden... but i was excited to earn (actually i was excited to buy the new chuck taylor sneakers... well it was in style 5 years ago)... and so while i was reviewing for the board exam i worked... it was fun but extremely tiring (specially when it's pay day and i need to drag myself to the mall and SHOP!!!! hahaha)... then i got to work for an AIRLINE company that was more of HELL than actually a little room you call an office (with which the only thing that made me stay is that i get to wear my ties and shirts and my shoes everyday at work)... then after wasting 30 long months of my life i decided to go for what i really wanted to do... build data communications networks... (hahahahaha... geeekkkyyy!!!!! well after this i'll be working for NASA... you just wait!) and then after more than a year of tweaking routers and switches i decided to TAKE A BREAK!!! and this was it...
my number was called... 2970... i walked confidently towards the window where the consul was on the other side... and gave him my $130 application form and my passport... he looked at me while i streched my shirt inside my suit... he asked my age... and where i'm going to in the states... i said i am 24 and im going to san francisco and then new york... he gave me a smirk and inserted a yellow slip in my passport... i was ready to get all my requirements in my little black keeper when he suddenly said that i was approved and to pay at the pavillion for the courier... i was on the verge of jumping, but i remembered my $700 DOLCE will not be so proud of me if i do that... so i smiled at the consul and told him to have a GOOD ONE!!! A REALLY GOOD ONE!!!
Next Major BLOG!!! Hello San Francisco and New York!!!!
it was last monday when this all happened... i woke up around 9am in the morning and got ready for the make or break moment that would shape the rest of my vacation plans for december... once again here's a flashback...
last may my lovely girl friend got the thing we all have been waiting for... her fiancee visa to be approved... and in a blink of an eye, without hesitation nor any teary goodbyes i just realized that she jumped on the first plane going to las vegas and left everybody here in the philippines to rot!
and so she got civilly married there and because the pinoy blood still holds her already bisaya accent... everybody still wanted to have another wedding ceremony together with all the white curtains they could muster and the longest trail they could put together and all the white petals they can cover the floor with... and the date was set... december 27... AND I AM GOING TO SING!!!
well, that was the original plan until we realized that my attendance was enough destruction for the ceremony already... so we just stick to the lesser evil (bwahahahaha...)
and then i forgot that my US Visa was already expired... but how can i miss this life threatening event? the timing is just right... got 3weeks vacation leave available... the semester for my MBA is about to end... i have free tickets to the states and I HAVE FREE TICKETS TO THE STATES!!! who am i to stop myself from another luxurious trip half-way around the world... besides it's already been a year since i really got out of the philippines or anywhere within it's vicinity (i mean... south east asia... you get the drift?)
so now we go back to the early part of the blog... i got up one monday morning and fixed myself to look as expensive as the clothes i'm wearing... (IT WAS HARD!!!) i spent all my life trying not to eat too much... thankfully it paid off... i haven't been over 150 pounds and the only flab that appeared in my body was that ounce of fat around my love-handle... but i maintained my lean figure.... problem now is... i look too thin... it's exceptionally great when the suit fitted like a runway model... but also exceptionally malnourished (bwahahahah!!!!)
my friend picked me up and dropped me off to the US Embassy... he said it was a form of support for all my efforts... but of course he's expecting me to bring him that D&G watch he's been eying on ebay when i get back from the states... (oh well... meet my friends...)
The line outside the embassy was long and exhausting... imagine wearing my coat and tie under the heat of the manila sun (talk about overdressed!) and what made matters worse is that i'm pretty sure i was the only one there who thought it best to wear something formal... NOT... but i kept my composure and just imagined everybody wearing the same thermal suit that i'm wearing...
it was'nt that long when somebody tapped my shoulder and introduced herself... she was one of the applicant's... she was a dentist and by the looks of her she's quite a good one... we made small talk and i learned that she was intending to attend a confrence in san francisco... i didn't realize that it's going to be one of the countless petty stories i will hear for the rest of my stay in that irritating line... there was an old lady who has a sister in the states who was dying, another was attending a wedding and a funeral right after, another wanted to take acting classes in the states... it just goes on and on... and then i reflected on my reason... it was simple, short and unconvincing... VACATION!!!!
right after graduation, i was one of the stupid people who thought that working immediately was the sane thing to do... i didn't realize that you have the rest of your life to work and only have a year of spending your 20th year here on earth without worry and burden... but i was excited to earn (actually i was excited to buy the new chuck taylor sneakers... well it was in style 5 years ago)... and so while i was reviewing for the board exam i worked... it was fun but extremely tiring (specially when it's pay day and i need to drag myself to the mall and SHOP!!!! hahaha)... then i got to work for an AIRLINE company that was more of HELL than actually a little room you call an office (with which the only thing that made me stay is that i get to wear my ties and shirts and my shoes everyday at work)... then after wasting 30 long months of my life i decided to go for what i really wanted to do... build data communications networks... (hahahahaha... geeekkkyyy!!!!! well after this i'll be working for NASA... you just wait!) and then after more than a year of tweaking routers and switches i decided to TAKE A BREAK!!! and this was it...
my number was called... 2970... i walked confidently towards the window where the consul was on the other side... and gave him my $130 application form and my passport... he looked at me while i streched my shirt inside my suit... he asked my age... and where i'm going to in the states... i said i am 24 and im going to san francisco and then new york... he gave me a smirk and inserted a yellow slip in my passport... i was ready to get all my requirements in my little black keeper when he suddenly said that i was approved and to pay at the pavillion for the courier... i was on the verge of jumping, but i remembered my $700 DOLCE will not be so proud of me if i do that... so i smiled at the consul and told him to have a GOOD ONE!!! A REALLY GOOD ONE!!!
Next Major BLOG!!! Hello San Francisco and New York!!!!
San Francisco Trip (part 1)
this is going to be a long one...
i woke up tensed as i realized it's time for me to zip up my bags and catch the last flight to san francisco... it wasn't as if i was never coming back but i made sure i got my favorite pairs of SHOES (mind the plural form... SHOES!!!) tucked in my luggage and ready to be the first one to step on foreign ground... it had been a while since the last time I've been to the states... lemme see, i guess it's almost 7 years... i haven't really missed it but i guess the reason why i was so excited is because of the friends I'm going to see again after that very long 7 years...
my best friend (lance) knocked on my condo unit door... i knew it was him, using his signature knock... he was with a FRIEND I've never seen before and by the looks of it... it's more than that... i didn't bother asking him who he really was and I'm sure lance thought of it as weird... I'm really tensed to go to the airport and lingering on some juicy gay stories from my best friend isn't helping... i finally zipped my luggage... which had been slowly bulking up as the days approached my departure... it always seem that I'm forgetting something but I'm oblivious what it is... another shirt... another underwear... a scarf... a bottle of after shave... a small paper back book... some cologne... another cologne... at some point it was my roommate who made the effort and finally locked my red suit case to end my endless dilemma... but of course i have my other bag... which on its own weighed almost as heavy as that jam packed crimson suitcase... but i have mastered the art of travel now and packing was one thing I'm very good at... i could fit 4 pairs of Italian shoes, 10 undies, 10 socks, 3 aviator shades, 2 jackets, 3 leather belts, 4 shirts, my passport, a lip balm and even slip in a can of Altoids in what you might say a small trolley bag... every thing would fit, but the weight is one whole story altogether...
on the road, i suddenly got an SMS from my other close friend (i didn't know that this was going to be a convoy ride to the airport... but i was flattered) and finally after getting off the car and unloading my baggage, we made small hugs and kisses (like I'm not going to come back or something like that... oh well... it's part of the gay thing... drama is just seeping out of everything... QUEENS... DRAMA QUEENS... haha...) and soon i was right in front of the check-in counter...
i saw myself squeezing thru the small aisle of the aircraft all the way to the back... that's what you get when your tickets are for free... but in some magical way, the people in the plane was kind enough to give me a seat with the whole row unoccupied... the first unfriendly looking flight attendant told me that it was going to be an 11hr flight so i better get myself comfortable... and so i did...
my nuzzling was cut short when i heard somebody complaining, seated behind me, woke me up... "i was suppose to be seated in the center aisle!" he kept on going... it seems like i'm the only one bothered by his ramblings... "excuse me, can't you see everyone is sleeping in this damn plane?" i said while i was still lying down, sprawled across the 5 unoccupied seats... then he stopped... for a moment there i was a bit scared, i was imagining a huge man coming over my seat and was going to beat the living daylights out of me... i scrunched a little and pretended to be sleeping when i felt the guy stood up behind my seat and hovered above me... "what did you say?" he asked.
"i said could YOU at least keep it down... we still have to bear another 8-hour flight... so just..." i answered trying to gather what little courage i got... and then to make my words a bit scary i stared straight up at him... "YOSHI???" i whispered, trying to keep my racing heart from shouting... what the hell are you doing here???
"THE CAPTAIN HAS TURNED ON THE FASTEN-YOUR-SEAT-BELT-SIGN..." the public speakers went on to notify the passengers that we are approaching San Francisco Airport. I opened my eyes leaving that blurry vision of my dreaded past in that dream and thought that it was a bad sign... well i can't turn back now... I'm already in San Francisco...
(end of introduction)
It was a long line at the San Francisco Airport of Entry.... there was a whole row of Homeland Security Officers, it wasn't that long when it was my turn to present myself to this adorable officer... he looks very Latino, had the most dreamy eyes I've seen in years... "please step behind that line and look straight at the camera please..." officer Latino ordered me while i was putting my two huge suitcases aside... "it's a chilly end of year huh... when was the last time it was this cold here???" i blabbered out my desperate act of making a conversation... a part of my brain is laughing its heart out (... you little Asian slut!!!) "sir, can i request that you stop talking and look straight at the camera" he interrupted my pathetic small talk... "certainly, officer..." i blunted out the best British accent i could muster hoping i would at least get some degree of respect from this rude but extremely cute guy... (i forgot... he saw my Philippine passport... you hopeless Asian whore!!!)
after that short photo shoot the Latino officer told me to go to secondary security... WTF???!!! did i get too far??? i have been in that line long enough to notice that I'm the only one told to go to secondary security... so i dragged my disappointed Asian ass to that dreaded room and waited for me to get cleared... (EMBARRASSING!!!) "
i woke up tensed as i realized it's time for me to zip up my bags and catch the last flight to san francisco... it wasn't as if i was never coming back but i made sure i got my favorite pairs of SHOES (mind the plural form... SHOES!!!) tucked in my luggage and ready to be the first one to step on foreign ground... it had been a while since the last time I've been to the states... lemme see, i guess it's almost 7 years... i haven't really missed it but i guess the reason why i was so excited is because of the friends I'm going to see again after that very long 7 years...
my best friend (lance) knocked on my condo unit door... i knew it was him, using his signature knock... he was with a FRIEND I've never seen before and by the looks of it... it's more than that... i didn't bother asking him who he really was and I'm sure lance thought of it as weird... I'm really tensed to go to the airport and lingering on some juicy gay stories from my best friend isn't helping... i finally zipped my luggage... which had been slowly bulking up as the days approached my departure... it always seem that I'm forgetting something but I'm oblivious what it is... another shirt... another underwear... a scarf... a bottle of after shave... a small paper back book... some cologne... another cologne... at some point it was my roommate who made the effort and finally locked my red suit case to end my endless dilemma... but of course i have my other bag... which on its own weighed almost as heavy as that jam packed crimson suitcase... but i have mastered the art of travel now and packing was one thing I'm very good at... i could fit 4 pairs of Italian shoes, 10 undies, 10 socks, 3 aviator shades, 2 jackets, 3 leather belts, 4 shirts, my passport, a lip balm and even slip in a can of Altoids in what you might say a small trolley bag... every thing would fit, but the weight is one whole story altogether...
on the road, i suddenly got an SMS from my other close friend (i didn't know that this was going to be a convoy ride to the airport... but i was flattered) and finally after getting off the car and unloading my baggage, we made small hugs and kisses (like I'm not going to come back or something like that... oh well... it's part of the gay thing... drama is just seeping out of everything... QUEENS... DRAMA QUEENS... haha...) and soon i was right in front of the check-in counter...
i saw myself squeezing thru the small aisle of the aircraft all the way to the back... that's what you get when your tickets are for free... but in some magical way, the people in the plane was kind enough to give me a seat with the whole row unoccupied... the first unfriendly looking flight attendant told me that it was going to be an 11hr flight so i better get myself comfortable... and so i did...
my nuzzling was cut short when i heard somebody complaining, seated behind me, woke me up... "i was suppose to be seated in the center aisle!" he kept on going... it seems like i'm the only one bothered by his ramblings... "excuse me, can't you see everyone is sleeping in this damn plane?" i said while i was still lying down, sprawled across the 5 unoccupied seats... then he stopped... for a moment there i was a bit scared, i was imagining a huge man coming over my seat and was going to beat the living daylights out of me... i scrunched a little and pretended to be sleeping when i felt the guy stood up behind my seat and hovered above me... "what did you say?" he asked.
"i said could YOU at least keep it down... we still have to bear another 8-hour flight... so just..." i answered trying to gather what little courage i got... and then to make my words a bit scary i stared straight up at him... "YOSHI???" i whispered, trying to keep my racing heart from shouting... what the hell are you doing here???
"THE CAPTAIN HAS TURNED ON THE FASTEN-YOUR-SEAT-BELT-SIGN
(end of introduction)
It was a long line at the San Francisco Airport of Entry.... there was a whole row of Homeland Security Officers, it wasn't that long when it was my turn to present myself to this adorable officer... he looks very Latino, had the most dreamy eyes I've seen in years... "please step behind that line and look straight at the camera please..." officer Latino ordered me while i was putting my two huge suitcases aside... "it's a chilly end of year huh... when was the last time it was this cold here???" i blabbered out my desperate act of making a conversation... a part of my brain is laughing its heart out (... you little Asian slut!!!) "sir, can i request that you stop talking and look straight at the camera" he interrupted my pathetic small talk... "certainly, officer..." i blunted out the best British accent i could muster hoping i would at least get some degree of respect from this rude but extremely cute guy... (i forgot... he saw my Philippine passport... you hopeless Asian whore!!!)
after that short photo shoot the Latino officer told me to go to secondary security... WTF???!!! did i get too far??? i have been in that line long enough to notice that I'm the only one told to go to secondary security... so i dragged my disappointed Asian ass to that dreaded room and waited for me to get cleared... (EMBARRASSING!!!) "
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Mother's Instinct
I woke up freezing my toes. It was my third day at Yoshi's sister's house. I didn't realize that Australia chills over while everybody in Manila is enjoying the hot sun of summer. A knock at the door pushed me out of my bed.
Yoshi's Mom: breakfast is ready.
Dame: thank you. i'll just fix up and i'll be down in a second.
I brushed my teeth before i went to the kitchen. The smell of eggs and cheese made my stomach grumble.
Dame: smells good.
Yoshi's Mom: its just scrambled eggs. it's yoshi's favorite.
Dame: where is he?
Yoshi's Mom: oh... he went out. He said he will be meeting some of his friends. He didn't tell you?
Dame: oh, yeah. I think he mentioned it to me last night.
He didn't say anything about it. There wasn't any plan to leave me in this house where i felt i was unwanted. He said he'll be here for me, to protect me from them, to protect us from the stabbing stares and the judging grins, but now i'm alone here and i have no idea when yoshi is going to come back.
I sat on the kitchen table, worried with the company i have, my boyfriend's mother.
Yoshi's Mom: He's really like that. You can't keep him in one place. And if your pace is too slow for him, he'll leave you behind.
Dame: What?
It's as if she read my mind. I pretended not to understand what she was talking about, but i am fully aware of what she said.
Yoshi's Mom: Where did the two of you meet?
Dame: I met your son in Manila. In a bookstore. He was very charming. I believe it was almost two years ago. I can't believe it's already two years.
Yoshi's Mom: Yes. Time flies really fast. Especially when you're having fun. You should enjoy it while it lasts.
That made me shut my mouth up. I tried to look for any other meaning of what she said, but it's clear that she doesn't like me. She placed a plate on top of the table infront of me and i started to eat quietly.
Yoshi's Mom: How many siblings do you have?
Dame: I have two sisters. I'm the oldest.
I tried not to keep the conversation going, but she kept on with her questions, which felt more like an interrogation.
Yoshi's Mom: It's just yoshi and his older sister for me. Yes, how time flies so fast. His sister is about to get married and yoshi...
She looked at me with distinct taste of disgust.
Yoshi's Mom: and yoshi... is all the way in Manila...
I couldn't take it anymore. I took a deep breath.
Dame: Maam, When I met your son, I didnt know that he could be someone i will trust my life with. I met him and got to know him and then i learned that you did a very good job. His parents did a great job in raising him. He is sweet, he is responsible, he is brilliant and he loves me very much. And i love him. Maybe not as much as you do, but i know i'm getting there. It just had been two years that we were together but those were very happy years for us. I want you to know that maam. Your son is very happy, maam.
She suddenly stopped whatever she's doing. The air seemed to stop moving around us. She took a glass of water and set it beside my plate. I realized that all the while I was talking she never blinked.
Yoshi's Mom: Finish your breakfast. Have more eggs. Both you and yoshi are so thin. You should eat a lot.
She placed more eggs and two more slices of bread on my plate.
Yoshi's Mom: And please stop calling me maam. Call me mother.
Yoshi's Mom: breakfast is ready.
Dame: thank you. i'll just fix up and i'll be down in a second.
I brushed my teeth before i went to the kitchen. The smell of eggs and cheese made my stomach grumble.
Dame: smells good.
Yoshi's Mom: its just scrambled eggs. it's yoshi's favorite.
Dame: where is he?
Yoshi's Mom: oh... he went out. He said he will be meeting some of his friends. He didn't tell you?
Dame: oh, yeah. I think he mentioned it to me last night.
He didn't say anything about it. There wasn't any plan to leave me in this house where i felt i was unwanted. He said he'll be here for me, to protect me from them, to protect us from the stabbing stares and the judging grins, but now i'm alone here and i have no idea when yoshi is going to come back.
I sat on the kitchen table, worried with the company i have, my boyfriend's mother.
Yoshi's Mom: He's really like that. You can't keep him in one place. And if your pace is too slow for him, he'll leave you behind.
Dame: What?
It's as if she read my mind. I pretended not to understand what she was talking about, but i am fully aware of what she said.
Yoshi's Mom: Where did the two of you meet?
Dame: I met your son in Manila. In a bookstore. He was very charming. I believe it was almost two years ago. I can't believe it's already two years.
Yoshi's Mom: Yes. Time flies really fast. Especially when you're having fun. You should enjoy it while it lasts.
That made me shut my mouth up. I tried to look for any other meaning of what she said, but it's clear that she doesn't like me. She placed a plate on top of the table infront of me and i started to eat quietly.
Yoshi's Mom: How many siblings do you have?
Dame: I have two sisters. I'm the oldest.
I tried not to keep the conversation going, but she kept on with her questions, which felt more like an interrogation.
Yoshi's Mom: It's just yoshi and his older sister for me. Yes, how time flies so fast. His sister is about to get married and yoshi...
She looked at me with distinct taste of disgust.
Yoshi's Mom: and yoshi... is all the way in Manila...
I couldn't take it anymore. I took a deep breath.
Dame: Maam, When I met your son, I didnt know that he could be someone i will trust my life with. I met him and got to know him and then i learned that you did a very good job. His parents did a great job in raising him. He is sweet, he is responsible, he is brilliant and he loves me very much. And i love him. Maybe not as much as you do, but i know i'm getting there. It just had been two years that we were together but those were very happy years for us. I want you to know that maam. Your son is very happy, maam.
She suddenly stopped whatever she's doing. The air seemed to stop moving around us. She took a glass of water and set it beside my plate. I realized that all the while I was talking she never blinked.
Yoshi's Mom: Finish your breakfast. Have more eggs. Both you and yoshi are so thin. You should eat a lot.
She placed more eggs and two more slices of bread on my plate.
Yoshi's Mom: And please stop calling me maam. Call me mother.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
conversation with an anonymous MORON...
Disclaimer: Warning! This does not intend to categorize anyone related, directly or indirectly, to any institution. This is just a mere experience and how the conversation went along. If you think you will be offended by the harshness or insensitivity of this dialogue, I suggest you stop reading at this point. Once again, I do not intend to make a point out of this post nor do I intend to criticize, make fun or demean anybody related to any institution.
I was quietly reading my Business Economics textbook when suddenly a message appeared in the computer monitor...
Reef: hi... you look familiar... are you a DLSU grad?
I was logged-on to one of those social websites so i wasn't surprised when this anonymous guy popped up in my screen...
Dame: why?
Reef: nothing... I'm from DLSU kasi... where are you now???
Dame: I'm from makati... but im in alabang right now...
Reef: really... i live in alabang but i work in makati... small world huh?
Dame: i guess so...
Reef: so what are you here for??? friends??? relationship??? EBs??? SEBs???
Dame: im sorry to disappoint you dude... but i don't go for those here...
Reef: ok... that's cool... hope we could meet and talk... btw... what's your stats? age???
Dame: it's in my profile... you haven't read it have you???
Reef: your age isn't there...
Dame: it is there pare... but for your comfort and convenience... i took the initiative to paste what was already written there... are you sure you're from DLSU or baka CSB ka???
***** Stats: 24.175cm.65kg - 5'9".143lbs
***** Body & Ethnics: Athletic & Mixed
***** Hair: Brown
***** Body Hair:
***** Eyes: Brown
***** Piercings: None
***** Tattoos: None
Reef: yeah... i've already read that... what i'm asking is your age??? i'm from CSB... you can ask me anything about it...
at that time i don't know what has got in to me when all my biatchy-ness oozed out of my ears...
Dame: pare... the first thing you see in my stats is my age... malabo ba??? Stats: 24.175cm.65kg - 5'9".143lbs >>> "24" hindi naman siguro ako 24.175cm diba??? ano ako dwende??? for a DLSU guy you would disappoint me... but coz you're from CSB i understand...
and after that i realized i was being unimaginably rude...
Dame: sorry if im this sarcastic... i just don't like slow people... bare with me...
Reef: uhmmm sorry dude... i rarely check this site and i wudnt even know that ur age wud be included there... it said stats not age...
but i can't help it... i kept on and on... argh!!!
Dame: its in my nature... for those who dont know me they would really get turned-off... but for those who do they are actually thankful... just a piece of advice... dont rely too much on whats on the label... people who put "do not drink" on poison bottles actually put it there for people like you... it's what they call "COMMON SENSE" but you don't have to worry it's congenital... so you can't blame yourself...
Reef: AND DNT MAKE URSELF MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE COZ AT THE END OF THE DAY... UL SEE WHO IS PROPERLY EDUCATED AND NOT... THANKS...
and that was his last message... i wonder when will that end of the day be for him???
NAKU NAGALIT ATA!!! WAAAHHH I'M SO BAD!!! SORRY PO... I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE CONVERSATION... RIGHT???
I was quietly reading my Business Economics textbook when suddenly a message appeared in the computer monitor...
Reef: hi... you look familiar... are you a DLSU grad?
I was logged-on to one of those social websites so i wasn't surprised when this anonymous guy popped up in my screen...
Dame: why?
Reef: nothing... I'm from DLSU kasi... where are you now???
Dame: I'm from makati... but im in alabang right now...
Reef: really... i live in alabang but i work in makati... small world huh?
Dame: i guess so...
Reef: so what are you here for??? friends??? relationship??? EBs??? SEBs???
Dame: im sorry to disappoint you dude... but i don't go for those here...
Reef: ok... that's cool... hope we could meet and talk... btw... what's your stats? age???
Dame: it's in my profile... you haven't read it have you???
Reef: your age isn't there...
Dame: it is there pare... but for your comfort and convenience... i took the initiative to paste what was already written there... are you sure you're from DLSU or baka CSB ka???
***** Stats: 24.175cm.65kg - 5'9".143lbs
***** Body & Ethnics: Athletic & Mixed
***** Hair: Brown
***** Body Hair:
***** Eyes: Brown
***** Piercings: None
***** Tattoos: None
Reef: yeah... i've already read that... what i'm asking is your age??? i'm from CSB... you can ask me anything about it...
at that time i don't know what has got in to me when all my biatchy-ness oozed out of my ears...
Dame: pare... the first thing you see in my stats is my age... malabo ba??? Stats: 24.175cm.65kg - 5'9".143lbs >>> "24" hindi naman siguro ako 24.175cm diba??? ano ako dwende??? for a DLSU guy you would disappoint me... but coz you're from CSB i understand...
and after that i realized i was being unimaginably rude...
Dame: sorry if im this sarcastic... i just don't like slow people... bare with me...
Reef: uhmmm sorry dude... i rarely check this site and i wudnt even know that ur age wud be included there... it said stats not age...
but i can't help it... i kept on and on... argh!!!
Dame: its in my nature... for those who dont know me they would really get turned-off... but for those who do they are actually thankful... just a piece of advice... dont rely too much on whats on the label... people who put "do not drink" on poison bottles actually put it there for people like you... it's what they call "COMMON SENSE" but you don't have to worry it's congenital... so you can't blame yourself...
Reef: AND DNT MAKE URSELF MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE COZ AT THE END OF THE DAY... UL SEE WHO IS PROPERLY EDUCATED AND NOT... THANKS...
and that was his last message... i wonder when will that end of the day be for him???
NAKU NAGALIT ATA!!! WAAAHHH I'M SO BAD!!! SORRY PO... I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE CONVERSATION... RIGHT???
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
HummingBird Bakery (My First London Trip...Nostalgia)
the opening of the 2nd Hummingbird Bakery branch in London last year started my wild anticipation that i cant help but to keep my hands from my Fendi luggage bag and drag my ex-boyfriend's ass from his endless paper work and his consumed frantic mind, like he was trying to cure cancer or something, and got the cheapest ticket to Heathrow.
but that wasn't the only reason i wanted to go to London...
i met a guy the last time i've been to London while i was waiting for my ex-boyfriend to come back from a 5-day business trip to Manchester so I had to think of something that I could do so as not to rot inside the Arosfa Hotel for the next 5-days (if i were even there today, it would blow my brains out because i could clearly remember that it was a non-smoking hotel where a small part of London's fresh air still lingers... who cares about fresh air??? i need a puff!!! right now!!!)
i remember when my ex and i got out of the cab from Heathrow and went straight to Arosfa (my ex doesn't waste time... he already had everything planned... even my ever so boring 5-day wait...) We stayed in a single room, in which the bed seem to be really just for one person, as what was planned (ARGH!!!) which only costs us 55/night. We unpacked our things and early the next day he got straight to the airport to take the first flight to Manchester.
so i found myself in a small room... alone... and just decided to take a long bath to make time run a bit faster... after my 2 hour bath i realized it was only 10 in the morning... i couldn't help but to pick myself up from that miserable state and thought of going around Bloomsbury.
just as i stepped out of the hotel i felt my stomach rumbling, so i walked the short length of Gower street then around Chenies until i found the very first Tube in London that i was sure i was about to ride...
i stepped right in the subway and popped up the tickets my ex bought for us the moment we stepped out of the airport (talk about OCD!), i remembered that i took the subway near Goodge Street that was bound South of London.
i haven't had the feel of the ride when i noticed a guy in a pale blue sweatshirt, ragged blue jeans and worn out sneakers was staring at me. i was standing at the corner near the service entrance and he was sitting a couple of feet directly across me. he had deep blue eyes and dark blonde hair. he had a feel of a pure Englishman if it were not for the clothes that he's in.
he looked at me straight on and made sure i felt that there wasn't anybody he was looking at. i tried looking in another direction but his piercing stare just kept on tapping my peripheral view. scary thoughts rambled in my head and i kept on repeating in my mind that taking the tube all by myself was a bad idea.
the next stop seem to be a light at the end of a tunnel and my instinct told me to get off as fast as i could. the moment i stepped off the tube and on the platform. it was an intersection stop so i got in the other tube where i have no idea where its heading. i know that i'm gonna hate myself again for getting in another train, but might as well be out of harms way.
"Oxford Circus!" was the next stop that i heard from the speakers just above me, i thought ill just be picking out a nice name and get off at that station...
Bond Street... Marble Arch... Lancaster Gate... Queensway...
Notting Hill Gate...
the sound of the next stop sounded like ive heard it from some movie before so i decided to pick this one out and see whats outside this station. i went out for real air and saw myself in a normal street with rows of shops and residences that have the same architectural facade. different shades of pale colors are the only distinction of each establishment.
i turned to a street called Portobello Road which immediately transported me to a Mary Poppins theme place. i wished i brought with me an umbrella just to complete the aura.
people started to crowd most of the length of the road and i finally saw something i could do in London that i am certainly good at. SHOPPING!!!
there seem to be a market that stretches way to the end of the road. fresh meat are piled and hanged on little stalls to my left and right. Second-hand clothes with designer garments and vintage denim and leather line in a row at boutiques and there are food stalls with great bread and cheese, but the one that attracted me most are the antiques, or they seem to look antique, that are for sale.
there's this one specific shop that caught my eye as its sign was a clay or ceramic like teapot hanging in front of its door entrance. i went in and found myself in the middle of the most number of antiques i've seen in my entire life. it felt like i just came out of a time machine.
there were china porcelains with gold and silver engravings hanging on the wall. little jars and vases are lined up in a row under the paintings that hanged on the one wide yellowing wall. i could see vintage clothes on every corner that hangers could fit and brilliant chandeliers hovered on top of me. there were eerie looking busts, old wooden cabinets, animal wood carvings of pigeons, tortoises and cats, heavy wooden music boxes, a clock in a shape of an 6 pointed star hanging at the wall at the back of the cash register and low lighted lamps and shades that gave effect of age and authenticity.
but from all those remarkable items that i could have purchased i was intimately interested at the collection of old jewelry displayed inside a glass locker at the left corner of the store. there was this snake-like gold bracelet that has lost its shine because of age that i became infatuated with.
i asked the store merchant if i could take a look at the item and i immediately tried it on. it was perfect and when i glanced at its price tag i trembled a bit, poutted with disappointment and handed it back to the merchant.
"its a bit too expensive for me." i said and gave out a grin that was a mixture of disappointment and anticipation. the little trinket costs more than my whole stay here in London.
then a man just popped out from somewhere glided out behind me held my wrist just as im about to give back the bracelet to the merchant.
"i see you haven't been in these places before?" his question sounded like it was more of what he thought and not that he wanted answer for it. "bargaining is one thing you could exhaust here in Kensington."
i looked at his hand and my sight crawled from his pale blue sweatshirt to his deep blue eyes. it was the man from the train. i didn't move away from his grip as i was deep in my thoughts of figuring out how he managed to follow me here.
"my kind sir, maybe you could give this to my friend for 400 pounds" he magically pulled a credit card out of his sleeves and pushed it towards the counter with his left hand while his right still had the steady grip on my wrist.
the merchant frowned but took the card and was about to punched in the closed purchase.
"im sorry but i was just looking around. i wasn't really planning on buying anything." i crammed each word out of my mouth and used what little i learned from my aikido class and managed to get out from his grip.
"well, i was planning to buy that one for you." he stared at me like he was trying to tell me something. i stared back with a big question mark on my face and time seem to pass by so fast that the little bracelet was ready in a little box and was stuffed in a tiny paper bag.
"are you new here?" the tall blonde man asked me. i tried to look for a little hesitation from all his extravagant gesture but failed to find any.
"yes, just on vacation." i answered like a robot. "im sorry but who the hell are you?"
the question came out my mouth in the most foreign way he could ever get and i was hoping that he already got the idea that im just a tourist and wish he hates tourists from Asia.
"i never heard someone who could talk that fast. are you Australian?" he asked me back.
"no, i'm Asian. i'm sorry to be rude but i was just looking around and was really going to grab breakfast. i don't want to get into your morning." i said with a subtle sarcasm of wanting to be alone. " so if you don't mind ill be on my way."
"i know a great patisserie around the corner. its actually a french bakery lost in the middle of London, but there's a touch of UK in it. i think you'll like it" he pushed that insistent phrase that i realized that it wouldn't really hurt to go around London with a tour guide.
"you got me. ok. but first, whats your name and how come you've been following me around?" i demanded. " i saw you in the train and now you just happen to pop out from nowhere."
"im william." he held out his hand to shake mine and i gave him my ice cold palm." you really dont seem to like the weather here. i could imagine how much nice the weather is in the tropics."
we walked slowly towards that breakfast place he was talking about while i try to get the most out of my probing questions.
"so what do you do? where are you from here?" i thought the more questions i ask the more freaked out he will be.
"im just a simple IT guy here. i work with one of the .coms website. i live around the west side of central london. not far from here." he answered back but dosnt seem to be interested in anything about me.
we arrived in a place called The Hummingbird Bakery and with the looks of the place, i already knew that this breakfast is going to be a hefty one. The whole place was pink and when i got in i was flooded with baby colors. Blues and Reds and Yellows and a lot of Pink. I automatically remembered my boyfriend who was away for work and how much i wish that we shared this breakfast together, but all i got is this stranger that is getting stranger by the minute.
i ordered a banana cream pie and coffee and william just got himself a latte. by now i hurriedly went to the cash register to pay for our bill. he smiled and chuckled a bit when he saw me racing towards the end of the counter.
"you're funny guy. i havent got your name" that was the start of his endless questions the whole time we were having breakfast.
"im damianne. i came here with my boyfriend here in but he had some business in Manchester so i just decided to stay here rather than bore myself there." that sounded more that what he asked me but i figured maybe he would go away if he knows that i have a boyfriend.
"thats not so nice of him. leaving you here all alone. well, at least you get to go anywhere you want." he just kept that smile hanging over his face like he wanted to tell me something.
we talked about work. We talked about food. We talked about Manila and London. We talked for almost 2 hours and i realized that its almost noon.
"It has been a wonderful morning with you damianne. But i have to go now. Im meeting somebody for lunch." He stood up towering everybody in the bakery and scooped his bag and coat and stretched his hands towards me. I stood up realizing how pathetic my height is around him and compensated by shaking his hands with a tight grip.
I stayed for another round of those pies and added a milk shake with it. I promised myself that ill skipped lunch with a big breakfast that i had. I suddenly realized that all the while that i was alone there the little paper bag with the gold trinket was just sitting on the chair where william was seated a while ago.
I blew a deep sigh but was really thinking of running after william but i guess im not too familiar of the place and i don't want to bump with another stranger.
I went back to my hotel room and decided to wait for the next four days for my boyfriend to return. It was boring but i'd rather not get into another scne like that and inasmuch as i wanted to give the bracelet back to william i don't think its right if i would now be the one stalking him.
The rest of our trip to London ended up being nice and what i expected. When my boyfriend got back we stayed for another 2 days to go around and take pictures everywhere. I wore the bracelet the whole time we were going around London and my boyfriend doesnt seem to notice it was new.
A few days after we returned back in Manila, my boyfriend asked me about some misplaced calling card that he wasnt familiar with and that was out of his stack of calling cards.
"Do you know anybody who's a William Beckford?" he asked me while we were having dinner."I found this calling card from our luggages back in London and its in one of this little paper bag.
"Oh i guess thats the calling card of the shop where i got this bracelet i bought when you were away for work." i flinched a bit while trying to digest dinner.
"Hmmm... so you went around to shop without me?" he made a frown with his cute face and pinched my arm. "so what else did you see when i was away?"
"thats about it. i was kinda scared to go around that i might get lost or something." i said
"or something? hmmm... funny but the card says that william is working for a pornsite in london..." he said while putting a funny look on his face
"really??? hmmmm... maybe they put it in the bag as a flyer..." i answered back.
my boyfriend might have more questions in his head but after hearing that i've got all my questions answered...
Tags: damianne, gay, london, portobello road, hummingbird bakery, arosfa
but that wasn't the only reason i wanted to go to London...
i met a guy the last time i've been to London while i was waiting for my ex-boyfriend to come back from a 5-day business trip to Manchester so I had to think of something that I could do so as not to rot inside the Arosfa Hotel for the next 5-days (if i were even there today, it would blow my brains out because i could clearly remember that it was a non-smoking hotel where a small part of London's fresh air still lingers... who cares about fresh air??? i need a puff!!! right now!!!)
i remember when my ex and i got out of the cab from Heathrow and went straight to Arosfa (my ex doesn't waste time... he already had everything planned... even my ever so boring 5-day wait...) We stayed in a single room, in which the bed seem to be really just for one person, as what was planned (ARGH!!!) which only costs us 55/night. We unpacked our things and early the next day he got straight to the airport to take the first flight to Manchester.
so i found myself in a small room... alone... and just decided to take a long bath to make time run a bit faster... after my 2 hour bath i realized it was only 10 in the morning... i couldn't help but to pick myself up from that miserable state and thought of going around Bloomsbury.
just as i stepped out of the hotel i felt my stomach rumbling, so i walked the short length of Gower street then around Chenies until i found the very first Tube in London that i was sure i was about to ride...
i stepped right in the subway and popped up the tickets my ex bought for us the moment we stepped out of the airport (talk about OCD!), i remembered that i took the subway near Goodge Street that was bound South of London.
i haven't had the feel of the ride when i noticed a guy in a pale blue sweatshirt, ragged blue jeans and worn out sneakers was staring at me. i was standing at the corner near the service entrance and he was sitting a couple of feet directly across me. he had deep blue eyes and dark blonde hair. he had a feel of a pure Englishman if it were not for the clothes that he's in.
he looked at me straight on and made sure i felt that there wasn't anybody he was looking at. i tried looking in another direction but his piercing stare just kept on tapping my peripheral view. scary thoughts rambled in my head and i kept on repeating in my mind that taking the tube all by myself was a bad idea.
the next stop seem to be a light at the end of a tunnel and my instinct told me to get off as fast as i could. the moment i stepped off the tube and on the platform. it was an intersection stop so i got in the other tube where i have no idea where its heading. i know that i'm gonna hate myself again for getting in another train, but might as well be out of harms way.
"Oxford Circus!" was the next stop that i heard from the speakers just above me, i thought ill just be picking out a nice name and get off at that station...
Bond Street... Marble Arch... Lancaster Gate... Queensway...
Notting Hill Gate...
the sound of the next stop sounded like ive heard it from some movie before so i decided to pick this one out and see whats outside this station. i went out for real air and saw myself in a normal street with rows of shops and residences that have the same architectural facade. different shades of pale colors are the only distinction of each establishment.
i turned to a street called Portobello Road which immediately transported me to a Mary Poppins theme place. i wished i brought with me an umbrella just to complete the aura.
people started to crowd most of the length of the road and i finally saw something i could do in London that i am certainly good at. SHOPPING!!!
there seem to be a market that stretches way to the end of the road. fresh meat are piled and hanged on little stalls to my left and right. Second-hand clothes with designer garments and vintage denim and leather line in a row at boutiques and there are food stalls with great bread and cheese, but the one that attracted me most are the antiques, or they seem to look antique, that are for sale.
there's this one specific shop that caught my eye as its sign was a clay or ceramic like teapot hanging in front of its door entrance. i went in and found myself in the middle of the most number of antiques i've seen in my entire life. it felt like i just came out of a time machine.
there were china porcelains with gold and silver engravings hanging on the wall. little jars and vases are lined up in a row under the paintings that hanged on the one wide yellowing wall. i could see vintage clothes on every corner that hangers could fit and brilliant chandeliers hovered on top of me. there were eerie looking busts, old wooden cabinets, animal wood carvings of pigeons, tortoises and cats, heavy wooden music boxes, a clock in a shape of an 6 pointed star hanging at the wall at the back of the cash register and low lighted lamps and shades that gave effect of age and authenticity.
but from all those remarkable items that i could have purchased i was intimately interested at the collection of old jewelry displayed inside a glass locker at the left corner of the store. there was this snake-like gold bracelet that has lost its shine because of age that i became infatuated with.
i asked the store merchant if i could take a look at the item and i immediately tried it on. it was perfect and when i glanced at its price tag i trembled a bit, poutted with disappointment and handed it back to the merchant.
"its a bit too expensive for me." i said and gave out a grin that was a mixture of disappointment and anticipation. the little trinket costs more than my whole stay here in London.
then a man just popped out from somewhere glided out behind me held my wrist just as im about to give back the bracelet to the merchant.
"i see you haven't been in these places before?" his question sounded like it was more of what he thought and not that he wanted answer for it. "bargaining is one thing you could exhaust here in Kensington."
i looked at his hand and my sight crawled from his pale blue sweatshirt to his deep blue eyes. it was the man from the train. i didn't move away from his grip as i was deep in my thoughts of figuring out how he managed to follow me here.
"my kind sir, maybe you could give this to my friend for 400 pounds" he magically pulled a credit card out of his sleeves and pushed it towards the counter with his left hand while his right still had the steady grip on my wrist.
the merchant frowned but took the card and was about to punched in the closed purchase.
"im sorry but i was just looking around. i wasn't really planning on buying anything." i crammed each word out of my mouth and used what little i learned from my aikido class and managed to get out from his grip.
"well, i was planning to buy that one for you." he stared at me like he was trying to tell me something. i stared back with a big question mark on my face and time seem to pass by so fast that the little bracelet was ready in a little box and was stuffed in a tiny paper bag.
"are you new here?" the tall blonde man asked me. i tried to look for a little hesitation from all his extravagant gesture but failed to find any.
"yes, just on vacation." i answered like a robot. "im sorry but who the hell are you?"
the question came out my mouth in the most foreign way he could ever get and i was hoping that he already got the idea that im just a tourist and wish he hates tourists from Asia.
"i never heard someone who could talk that fast. are you Australian?" he asked me back.
"no, i'm Asian. i'm sorry to be rude but i was just looking around and was really going to grab breakfast. i don't want to get into your morning." i said with a subtle sarcasm of wanting to be alone. " so if you don't mind ill be on my way."
"i know a great patisserie around the corner. its actually a french bakery lost in the middle of London, but there's a touch of UK in it. i think you'll like it" he pushed that insistent phrase that i realized that it wouldn't really hurt to go around London with a tour guide.
"you got me. ok. but first, whats your name and how come you've been following me around?" i demanded. " i saw you in the train and now you just happen to pop out from nowhere."
"im william." he held out his hand to shake mine and i gave him my ice cold palm." you really dont seem to like the weather here. i could imagine how much nice the weather is in the tropics."
we walked slowly towards that breakfast place he was talking about while i try to get the most out of my probing questions.
"so what do you do? where are you from here?" i thought the more questions i ask the more freaked out he will be.
"im just a simple IT guy here. i work with one of the .coms website. i live around the west side of central london. not far from here." he answered back but dosnt seem to be interested in anything about me.
we arrived in a place called The Hummingbird Bakery and with the looks of the place, i already knew that this breakfast is going to be a hefty one. The whole place was pink and when i got in i was flooded with baby colors. Blues and Reds and Yellows and a lot of Pink. I automatically remembered my boyfriend who was away for work and how much i wish that we shared this breakfast together, but all i got is this stranger that is getting stranger by the minute.
i ordered a banana cream pie and coffee and william just got himself a latte. by now i hurriedly went to the cash register to pay for our bill. he smiled and chuckled a bit when he saw me racing towards the end of the counter.
"you're funny guy. i havent got your name" that was the start of his endless questions the whole time we were having breakfast.
"im damianne. i came here with my boyfriend here in but he had some business in Manchester so i just decided to stay here rather than bore myself there." that sounded more that what he asked me but i figured maybe he would go away if he knows that i have a boyfriend.
"thats not so nice of him. leaving you here all alone. well, at least you get to go anywhere you want." he just kept that smile hanging over his face like he wanted to tell me something.
we talked about work. We talked about food. We talked about Manila and London. We talked for almost 2 hours and i realized that its almost noon.
"It has been a wonderful morning with you damianne. But i have to go now. Im meeting somebody for lunch." He stood up towering everybody in the bakery and scooped his bag and coat and stretched his hands towards me. I stood up realizing how pathetic my height is around him and compensated by shaking his hands with a tight grip.
I stayed for another round of those pies and added a milk shake with it. I promised myself that ill skipped lunch with a big breakfast that i had. I suddenly realized that all the while that i was alone there the little paper bag with the gold trinket was just sitting on the chair where william was seated a while ago.
I blew a deep sigh but was really thinking of running after william but i guess im not too familiar of the place and i don't want to bump with another stranger.
I went back to my hotel room and decided to wait for the next four days for my boyfriend to return. It was boring but i'd rather not get into another scne like that and inasmuch as i wanted to give the bracelet back to william i don't think its right if i would now be the one stalking him.
The rest of our trip to London ended up being nice and what i expected. When my boyfriend got back we stayed for another 2 days to go around and take pictures everywhere. I wore the bracelet the whole time we were going around London and my boyfriend doesnt seem to notice it was new.
A few days after we returned back in Manila, my boyfriend asked me about some misplaced calling card that he wasnt familiar with and that was out of his stack of calling cards.
"Do you know anybody who's a William Beckford?" he asked me while we were having dinner."I found this calling card from our luggages back in London and its in one of this little paper bag.
"Oh i guess thats the calling card of the shop where i got this bracelet i bought when you were away for work." i flinched a bit while trying to digest dinner.
"Hmmm... so you went around to shop without me?" he made a frown with his cute face and pinched my arm. "so what else did you see when i was away?"
"thats about it. i was kinda scared to go around that i might get lost or something." i said
"or something? hmmm... funny but the card says that william is working for a pornsite in london..." he said while putting a funny look on his face
"really??? hmmmm... maybe they put it in the bag as a flyer..." i answered back.
my boyfriend might have more questions in his head but after hearing that i've got all my questions answered...
Tags: damianne, gay, london, portobello road, hummingbird bakery, arosfa
Cold Nights in My Room
The way home from work was the usual 45-minute bus ride from alabang to makati. Things has been the usual things that graveyard shift. A couple of intercon meetings and a couple of movies from youtube. It was a cold morning when i stepped out of the bus and headed towards my pad.
The even colder air gushed out of my room when i pulled the door opened. I left the A/C on for the whole night and i shivered, wondering how much my electricity bill would come out the next time i get it.
I had a donut and milk for my meal and brushed my teeth before i slipped into my 3-day old boxers and climbed into bed to sleep.
**** My Little Uncanny Messenger ****
The room was cold and dark, but i could see thru amongst the outline of my small sanctuary. I felt i pulled my comforter too high that it failed to cover my feet. I could feel my toes shiver but i cant seem to let myself crunch them to keep some warm blood running thru my icy toes. I tried to reach the comforter but i cant move.
I CANT MOVE.
Then horrified by the view i saw when i tried looking at my feet, I saw a little man standing along the edge my bed. He was a little boy with a shaved head. I was wearing nothing but a brown cloth that covered his entire body.
He was waving at me. His hands and forearm beat like a metronome that was out of beat and it was waving fast and the slow.
Fast and then slow.
Terror rushed from my little toes, thru my spine, all the way at the back on my neck. I conjured a force to move my limp legs.
I kicked as hard as I could.
And then there was me. Lying on my bed. Catching my breath. I could hear my heart pounding. I got up and drank a glass of water. I went back to bed to sleep.
**** Don't Wake Me Up When I'm Sleeping ****
It was 3 months now since i've reoriented the position of my bed. The small window was just below my feet and my head is opposite the wooden cabinet in front of the bathroom door. I was feeling the chill of the A/C blowing against my toes and so I tucked myself further inside my comforter sheets.
I was awaken by a movement that I heard rather than felt. Slowly the sheets that covered me slipped ever so lightly pulling it to totally cover my body. I pulled back.
Someone is pulling my sheets from above my head.
I fought and pulled to keep my head exposed to the cold stagnant hair in my room. I saw small hands grabbing my sheets and pulling it. I immediately turned my head up to see what is pulling it and it was the little boy. He's still wearing his brown coat. My heart dropped from my bed when i realized that his neck doesn't have a head on top of it but just the pitch darkness that is suspended in my room. To my horror i closed my eyes and tried to wake up from that dream. The moment I opened them back the pulling stopped, the little boy was gone and I have to get up and open the lights to guard me while I sleep.
**** I Swear I Was Not With Anyone ****
A month had passed when Ive put back my bed to its original position. I was now facing the tube when i lay down my bed. I slept most of the mornings together with the soft rumbling of the A/C.
My roommate got home later than I did and found me asleep.
He went straight to bed without taking off his work clothes.
10 minutes has passed when the door suddenly opened and closed. My roommate was awoken by the thudding sound and got up to brush his teeth and he made sure that the doors were locked.
"Hey, You should tell your boys to at least say goodbye before leaving." He made a comment while i was trying to understand what he was saying.
"What?" I asked.
"I said, The next time you're going to bring a guy over, tell him he might at least lock the door when he's gonna leave" the peculiar sarcasm made me realize that it was really my roommate who's talking.
"What guy? I was sleeping here alone." Slowly i swallowed my words and froze in front of my roommate.
"Yeah right. There was this guy beside you when I got in. He was lying on his tummy so I didn't exactly saw his face." he insisted. "He had a shaved head. You know, you've been bringing over too many guys that you don't remember any of them."
"Dude! I'm fucking serious... I was alone the whole night...What the hell are you talking about?" I exclaimed.
We both looked at each other for a while... It was one of those looks that wanted some answers...
The even colder air gushed out of my room when i pulled the door opened. I left the A/C on for the whole night and i shivered, wondering how much my electricity bill would come out the next time i get it.
I had a donut and milk for my meal and brushed my teeth before i slipped into my 3-day old boxers and climbed into bed to sleep.
**** My Little Uncanny Messenger ****
The room was cold and dark, but i could see thru amongst the outline of my small sanctuary. I felt i pulled my comforter too high that it failed to cover my feet. I could feel my toes shiver but i cant seem to let myself crunch them to keep some warm blood running thru my icy toes. I tried to reach the comforter but i cant move.
I CANT MOVE.
Then horrified by the view i saw when i tried looking at my feet, I saw a little man standing along the edge my bed. He was a little boy with a shaved head. I was wearing nothing but a brown cloth that covered his entire body.
He was waving at me. His hands and forearm beat like a metronome that was out of beat and it was waving fast and the slow.
Fast and then slow.
Terror rushed from my little toes, thru my spine, all the way at the back on my neck. I conjured a force to move my limp legs.
I kicked as hard as I could.
And then there was me. Lying on my bed. Catching my breath. I could hear my heart pounding. I got up and drank a glass of water. I went back to bed to sleep.
**** Don't Wake Me Up When I'm Sleeping ****
It was 3 months now since i've reoriented the position of my bed. The small window was just below my feet and my head is opposite the wooden cabinet in front of the bathroom door. I was feeling the chill of the A/C blowing against my toes and so I tucked myself further inside my comforter sheets.
I was awaken by a movement that I heard rather than felt. Slowly the sheets that covered me slipped ever so lightly pulling it to totally cover my body. I pulled back.
Someone is pulling my sheets from above my head.
I fought and pulled to keep my head exposed to the cold stagnant hair in my room. I saw small hands grabbing my sheets and pulling it. I immediately turned my head up to see what is pulling it and it was the little boy. He's still wearing his brown coat. My heart dropped from my bed when i realized that his neck doesn't have a head on top of it but just the pitch darkness that is suspended in my room. To my horror i closed my eyes and tried to wake up from that dream. The moment I opened them back the pulling stopped, the little boy was gone and I have to get up and open the lights to guard me while I sleep.
**** I Swear I Was Not With Anyone ****
A month had passed when Ive put back my bed to its original position. I was now facing the tube when i lay down my bed. I slept most of the mornings together with the soft rumbling of the A/C.
My roommate got home later than I did and found me asleep.
He went straight to bed without taking off his work clothes.
10 minutes has passed when the door suddenly opened and closed. My roommate was awoken by the thudding sound and got up to brush his teeth and he made sure that the doors were locked.
"Hey, You should tell your boys to at least say goodbye before leaving." He made a comment while i was trying to understand what he was saying.
"What?" I asked.
"I said, The next time you're going to bring a guy over, tell him he might at least lock the door when he's gonna leave" the peculiar sarcasm made me realize that it was really my roommate who's talking.
"What guy? I was sleeping here alone." Slowly i swallowed my words and froze in front of my roommate.
"Yeah right. There was this guy beside you when I got in. He was lying on his tummy so I didn't exactly saw his face." he insisted. "He had a shaved head. You know, you've been bringing over too many guys that you don't remember any of them."
"Dude! I'm fucking serious... I was alone the whole night...What the hell are you talking about?" I exclaimed.
We both looked at each other for a while... It was one of those looks that wanted some answers...
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